BE OF SERVICE TO YOUR SPOUSE

"One of the love languages in Gary Chapman's book 5 love languages is ACT OF SERVICE.  This means you should be ready and able to serve your spouse, run errands for him or her and, get things done for your spouse without feeling used, abused or bitter......"

When you love someone, it is always a pleasure to do something for that person. Likewise, when you need  your spouse to do somethings for you, it should not be demanded with an entitlement mentality or with a slave/master attitude.

Ask nicely, and show appreciation when the job is done. It's been our #silverjourney, (25years in marriage), and i cannot count the number of times or days that my hubby had to patiently and, sometimes in frustration zip up my dress when i am dressing up or undressing. He is always at my service even if it is not so convenient.

Acts of service for your spouse can help him or her to be able to catch up on his duties for instance if you notice that your spouse is under pressure at work or for time, offer to help in doing some duties that are lined up and getting delayed.

Examples of acts of service could be, picking up your spouses clothes from the dry cleaners' , helping out with the laundry or cooking,  getting the car fixed or picking up groceries for the home.

Husbands should not  feel unconcerned or too "African" to help out around the home and wives should get into their husbands's world to find out areas they can help out.

Be of service to your spouse today and always.

Shalom

Busola Jegede

#OurSilverJourney #WeStillDo25yearslater

BLIND SPOTS IN MARRIAGE

UNENDING FORGIVENESS

One of the greatest elixir for any marriage that will endure is the ability to forgive again and again.

Probably I should say willingness to forgive endlessly  rather than ability because we ALL HAVE THE ABILITY TO FORGIVE  it is the willingness that eludes some of us. When we allow the HOLY SPIRIT to lift the burden of the hurt and pain from our heart we experience the soothing Balm of Gilead.

Offences will come in marriage at one time or another. Couples can hurt  each other's feelings through words, actions and inactions.

There has to be a conscious and intentional decision by both spouses  to have UNENDING FORGIVENESS  so that the journey of the marriage is not truncated.

Shalom

Busola Jegede

#OurSilverJourney#WeStillDo25yearslater

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This is from a series of write ups under the #oursilverjourney by Busola Jegede on her 25th Wedding anniversary  as she reflects over experiences and knowledge gotten from interactions as a marriage counsellor, Pastor and a Wife. Look out for more posts in coming days.

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ADJUSTMENT IN MARRIAGE

2019 is loaded with different realities for  different people no matter where you are in your life journey.

2019 is a year of CONVERGENCE- where past seeds, deeds and endeavours will come together to propel you for a lifting.

• It is a year of ALIGNMENT
• Of GROUND BREAKING
• And CONSOLIDATION

• Whatever were your greatest achievement? Focus on them more in 2019.
• Who were those that impacted on you or inspired you? Align more with them in 2019.
• What mistakes did you make in 2018, make sure it does not happen again.
• Where did you fail in 2018? Purpose to work on your weakness.

Our prophetic word for the month of August  was Psalm 3:3  "For thou o Lord are a shield for me my Glory and the lifter of my head". 

It’s our season of divine cover and God is our shield.  Now, how is God our shield?

• God is our shield, a form of protection, a defence against the fiery dart and arrows of the enemy. Our God will shield us from our enemies in the name of Jesus.
• God’s shield can be a form of favour. Psalm 5:12. God’s favour will work for you and your families in Jesus name.
• Deut. 33:29. Help is the capacity you need that may be in the hands of someone else. This help takes you from where you are to where you need to be. God will release help for us where we need it in the name of Jesus.
• The Glory of God is the very presence of God. His Glory will rise upon our situation in the name of Jesus. Isaiah 60:1
• Job 29:22 Things may be happening to people around you but there is a lifting up. This is the response of a believer. God will lift up our head against shame, debt, sickness and depression in the name of Jesus.

   Lift in purpose.  The Key scripture is Jeremiah 1:5

• You have a purpose on earth. God has brought you here to achieve purpose. There is something more inside of you.  Your life is more than what you think and do. 
• What is purpose? The purpose of something is the reason for which that thing exist. The purpose for your life is the goal , reason, desired result of what you have come to do by God. Before you were born, God has already given you a destiny mandate.  Your purpose is your assignment on earth. Jesus had a life description in Isaiah 9:6-7. Luke 2:34, Luke 1:13-17 are examples of the purpose of the saints. 
• They all had theirs written in the scriptures. Discovery God’s purpose for our life should be a paramount assignment and not for making money.  If you are making money and you have not discovered purpose , your are not yet fulfilled.
• Align with people who are walking on the same purpose as you are. When you are walking in purpose everyday is fresh. It is about living a life of fulfilment.

Indicators of not walking in purpose.

• Lack of fulfilment despite comfort
• Restlessness
• Lack of impact
• Confusion
• Going round in circles

Discovering God’s purpose should be a paramount assignment. And  if you have discovered purpose, walking in it and improving on your walk, living a life of purpose should be your goal.You were not created a man or a woman by mistake. There is a purpose for your gender and your being which had been predetermined by God. 

Purpose Indicators are as follows:

• Having a strong burden
• Experiences (positive or negative experiences can ignite purpose)
• Revelation in the place of prayers
• Talents and gifts
• Dreams of purpose being revealed

How to start on the lane of  purpose: 

• Discover your Purpose
• Organise, Polish and Package your Purpose
• Deploy it for mankind,
• Go for TRAINING in line WITH your Purpose
• Acquire Relevant SKILLS
• Be Disciplined
• Be Teachable
• Be focused
• Be matured
• Improving your self
• Preparation, spiritual, social, emotional, mental and intellectual maturity.
• Position yourself by adding value to your life like new skills
• Recognise potential, have the spirit of discernment
• Do not sway under pressure.

Issues to note when pursuing your purpose

• Your character can jeopardise your purpose
• God can give you a purpose but, it is your responsibility to train yourself.
• You may need a job to sustain your lifestyle, when living in purpose.
• Have a balance in life, as purpose keeps you busy.
• You may need a mentor for your life purpose.

Always note that God is a progressive revealer of purpose.

Birthing  purpose may come with a lot of fears , worry, discouragement, disappointment  and uncertainty. This is just like when a baby is about to come out of the womb the mother experiences  pain and discomfort.For that purpose, calling or gifting in your life, you must guard it diligently to fruition and success, because that vision is an assignment from God.